I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the meaning of compassion lately. Being in rescue, I find that it’s often easy to condemn others for their actions, i.e., giving up their animals, without really putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Animal advocates are a passionate bunch, with huge hearts and boundless compassion for the animals they are dedicated to saving. BUT, I’ve been noticing lately that there is often a real lack of compassion for other people – mostly for those who are giving up their animals. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of people who just don’t care about the animals that they commited to caring for – and I’m not making excuses for them. However, I’m receiving more and more pleas from people who just have no place left to turn. Those who are losing their homes and are forced to move – unable to take their beloved pets with them, those who are ill and can no longer care for their animals, victims of divorce, the list of reasons is never ending. As a dedicated rescuer and dog/cat mom, it’s tempting to judge those who are giving up their animals. I used to say, “I would NEVER do that, I’d sleep in my car before I’d give up my fur babies!”
And then one day, I asked myself “How do I know what I would do if I found myself in such dire circumstances?” This simple question has helped me open my heart to those who need my compassion – and surprisingy, has helped me gain balance. When we are constantly judging others and passing condemnation, it’s easy to start seeing the glass as half empty. I’m constantly amazed by so many in rescue who say over and over, “people suck”. And yet, these animals that we are so very dedicated to saving, know nothing but unconditional love, they have much to teach us about compassion if we only pay attention. My life has been so enriched by the many generous, loving and caring people who have crossed my path because of rescue. Once I decided to start having compassion for those who were surrendering their animals, this too, changed my perception and my daily experiences.
I reecently received an email from a man who was in dire financial straights, moving and couldn’t keep his two 9 year old dogs. Again, tempting to immediately pass judgement and think “why can’t he find some place to live that will allow him to keep his dogs?” – instead, I emailed him back and told him I would do all I could to help. Unfortunately, the timing was really bad – he was moving in a matter of days and I didn’t have any open foster homes at Daisy’s Place and it was a holiday weekend so boarding was full. With a very heavy heart I emailed him back that he’d have to take his dogs to the shelter, but that I would do everything in my power to find a place for them before they were put to sleep. One of his dogs was a beautiful, BIG (110 lb) teddy bear – a husky/shepherd mix of some sort, and thus didn’t even fall into the parameters of being a Daisy Dog (we save Retrievers). I began emailing other rescues to see if anyone could take Odin, the non-Retriever, but no luck – all the resues were full. I had already determined that I would save Rheba, Odin’s 9 year old black Lab companion, but time was running out. The man emailed me that he had taken his two beloved dogs to the shelter and that he knew it was just a matter of time before they would be killed – most likely a few days. He told me how he cried when he said goodbye to them and he prayed that I could find a way to save them, but he understood if I couldn’t. I broke down sobbing when I read his email and I just couldn’t get Odin out of my mind. I emailed the shellter and told them to hold both dogs – I would come and get them within the next few days. I had no plan, other than to save these two precious souls who had obviously been so very loved.
Odin
Once I met Odin there was no way that I could send him to another rescue! He’s an adorable, sweet, happy dog and he – and his previous “dad” – touched my heart. Both Odin and Rheba are in loving foster homes and are doing great. I’ve emailed photos to their dad to let him know that they are safe and loved. I know that this man needed my compassion, and I in turn, was given the gift of being able to do something to help another fellow human being – and his dogs.
Being compassionate helped me find my inner balance and that joyful place that feels so much better than judgement and condemnation! As we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King Jr. today, let us be reminded of his words ” Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
many blessings,
Melissa
Thank you for posting this. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the most powerful good we can do is show compassion to those who are making difficult choices. This is a beautiful reminder!
Thank you so much Diane! It’s so easy to forget that a little compassion can go a long way – but the rewards are priceless
Awesome blog today, Melissa! A very appropriate comment on this MLK day. I have often been surprised at some of the hateful comments on some animal lover’s FB pages. Human nature is to judge, but in the case of an owner surrender at a shelter, I choose to think that the owners made a decision to give their dogs another chance at a good life. It is most unfortunate that the shelters are forced to “put down” so many adoptable animals because so many others don’t have their animals fixed. THAT is where I feel judgement is appropriate. Ignorance is never bliss for an unwanted animal!
Thank you so much Paula! One of the sad truths is that many people think of shelters as a sanctuary, they just have no idea that so many are put to sleep each and every day. And you’re right, pet over population is the biggest challenge we face, especially in the South. I’m just so very grateful to the many animal advocates who work tirelessly to save so many – and hopefully they will learn the valuable lessons these amazing creatures have to teach us, most especially compassion and unconditional love.
Thanks for reminding us Melissa, of the way we should all be, every day. It make me so happy to know you were successful in saving Odin, Rheba and the rest of your Daisy Dog clan!
Thanks so much Mynda – just so very thankful to have been given the opportunity to help save these precious souls, and to learn compassion through them!
Awesome Blog! A great reminder for all of us- especially those of us in rescue that most likely get to that place more often than not because we constantly feel as though we are fighting an uphill battle and being beat down at every turn- but the compassion that leads us to the animals we save MUST also guide us in dealing with the people we encounter- on so many levels.
Thanks Mary! I hope you know you’ve always been an inspiration when it comes to showing compassion (among many other things!). Sometimes we get so caught up in our quest to save these precious animals that we forget the pain that their owners are going through – but as I said, these amazing creatures have much to teach us!
This blog entry spoke right to my heart. I am with you on this — I often find myself being the lone voice for the people who end up in bad situations with their dogs. Working in pit bull advocacy and rescue, I see not only a lot of scorn for those who give up their pets, but for those who haven’t spay/neutered, who use heavy chains, who purposely promote the “tough guy” image of their pit bull type dogs, who don’t have their dogs on HW preventatives… the list goes on. But so many of these people do what they do either because they don’t understand the consequences, or because they haven’t yet heard a compelling reason why they should care. By inviting all of these folks into our supportive community and helping them feel pride for their animals, we will turn a lot more of them into responsible pet owners and strong advocates than if we draw a line in the sand and label some of us “us” and others of us “them.”
Oh Aleksandra, we are definitely kindred spirits! So happy that I stumbled upon your beautiful blog and we can share ideas and philosophies! Running a Retriever rescue in the south is hard – so many abandoned souls – but I think pittie rescue is a thousand times more challenging! So many misconceptions, it’s just heart breaking. All of our local pit bull rescues have closed their doors and there are so many sweet babies dying in the shelters daily. Education – and compassion – is key and we must all work together to be the voices for those who can’t speak for themselves, and to teach responsible dog parenting!
5 years ago I was engaged to be married and living in a 3 bedroom house with my intended with our 1 year old yellow lab. Overnight, it seemed, the fiance was gone and I was in a 1 bedroom apartment still holding down two jobs. My aunt’s family had recently had a dog death and asked if I would be keeping Sam. I didn’t know what to do: cramped 1 bedroom apartment vs 2 acre farm; single working mom vs family with young children. To me the choice was clear. Sammy has been living with my aunt since then.
A little under 2 years ago, I found myself in a home that was conducive to a dog, with freedom conducive to a dog, and a lifestyle conducive to a dog instead of taking Sammy back (after 3 years in a home of love) I adopted my sweet girl, Analaigh, and 6 months later my happy girl, Rose.
My aunt now makes snide remarks as though I have some audacity to have dogs now because there was a time in my life when I just didn’t have the means to care for one. Life happens and situations change and no one outside of that life and situation can ever really know what that means.
Yes, there are people who have pets and don’t care a whit for them. I won’t judge them for surrendering their pet but I will harshly judge them for neglect and allowing that pet to grow up unloved or uncherished. It is irresponsible to bring a child or animal into your home if you do not have the means to care for it but more damage is done if you don’t have the courage to admit it and seek help…
Says the adopted mama of two beautiful adopted puppies who once gave up her Sammy to a better life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story – and for making the hard choice to give Sammy up and make sure he had a loving home. We are all doing the best we can and sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we have to make the best choices available to us at the time. I can tell how much loved Sammy and because of that love you made the responsible decision to let him go. I’m so sorry that your aunt chooses not to see or understand the sacrifices that you made for Sammy – you could have selfishly refused to give him up even knowing that you couldn’t give him the life he deserved, instead you chose to do what was best for him even though I’m sure it broke your heart. Bless you for putting Sammy’s needs and happiness above your own and for taking Analaigh and Rose into your heart and home when you were ready and able.
Thank you! Also, I love the quote you used to end this post. I used the same quote for my MLK tribute for the girls.
http://anonymousburn.com/art-gallery/mklday-2/
[...] I was asked to take a large husky-shepherd mix into rescue. Odin was featured in my blog “Compassion Leads to Balance“. His dad was moving and couldn’t keep him and his housemate Rheba, a 9 year old [...]